


You’re In My Veins

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Jedi and the Spice Runner [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Anal Sex, Ben Solo is a Mess, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talking Poe Dameron, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Luke Skywalker, M/M, Poe Dameron & Zorii Bliss Friendship, Poe Dameron Being a Little Shit, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Is Not (Completely) An Asshole, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Riding, Sort Of, Sort of a fix it, Spice Runner Poe Dameron, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE TAGS, meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21921928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Searching for the Knights of Ren causes an unusual crossing of paths.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: The Jedi and the Spice Runner [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1578796
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36
Collections: Allbingo





	You’re In My Veins

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Love At First Sight
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: I really don’t know if I’ll still be writing Darkpilot (I just feel like there’s no point sometimes), but this idea grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. 
> 
> (Also, don’t @ me; I know Darkpilot is neither canon nor popular. Just, please, don’t gloat about it)
> 
> Title from “Fill Me Up” by Staind. (I don’t care that Luke Spencer called Staind “divorced dad rock”. Really)

Looking through the streets of Kijimi for the helmeted figures that Luke had seen in his visions, Ben didn’t expect to find the spice runner in the bronze armor. It wasn’t one of the figures that Luke had described. Luke had sketched out what he’d seen, and the helmeted figures looked so much more primitive.   
  
It didn’t stop Ben from stiffening. “Stay back!” he said. “I’ve got a lightsaber, and I’m not afraid to use it.” Not very Jedi-like, Ben thought. Then again, being a good Jedi never came easy to Ben.   
  
The spice runner (along with his partner) drew back the visor of his helmet, and Ben’s breathing couldn’t help but hitch. It was odd thinking this about a certified criminal, but the spice runner was handsome — no, striking, actually. Ben couldn’t help but be drawn in by his unexpectedly soft, gentle brown eyes, the way his black curls framed his face. Looks could be deceiving, though. Ben prepared to draw his lightsaber if he had to.   
  
“Relax,” the spice runner said. “I’m not gonna shoot you. Wouldn’t be any use anyway; you’d bat those bolts right back. Too bad we can’t do that, huh, Zorii?”  
  
The other spice runner (who was a pretty woman, if in a different way. Ben wondered absently if being strikingly pretty was some sort of weird requirement for joining up with this guild) raised an eyebrow. “I think it’d be unfair for everyone if we had Jedi powers,” she said wryly. A beat. “Boy looks like a gizka trapped in a minefield. And he’s just staring at you.”  
  
“You expected some sort of monster?” said the spice runner.   
  
“Well, I...uh...”  
  
“Don’t be fooled by the name,” said the spice runner. “We do what we can to get things where they need to be.” A beat. “I’m Poe, by the way.”  
  
“Ben.” Ben couldn’t help but stare, caught in the man’s eyes. Somehow, the name “Poe” sounded so disappointingly normal, for a spice runner that was so dangerously enchanting. Like if Ben got too close to him, he’d be burned.   
  
***  
  
Luke didn’t seem to share Ben’s opinion. In fact, when Luke came back, after a moment where Luke seemed frozen, like he was sensing something he hadn’t felt in some time...he actually sounded disappointed. (And you had to know someone, right, to be disappointed?) “Of all the paths I expected you to take, Poe, this wasn’t one of them.”  
  
“Did you waltz back into my life to judge me?” Poe retorted. “Maybe that self-righteous bantha shit works on your students, Skywalker, but not me.”  
  
“Wait,” Ben said. “You...know each other?”  
  
Poe nodded. “Friend of my parents’,” he said. “Pretty kriffing convenient that you came back just now.”  
  
Luke looked pained. “You were such a sweet kid, Poe. What happened?”  
  
Zorii, meanwhile, actually was rigidly still. “So this guy’s technically your uncle?”  
  
“Just a family friend,” Poe said. “At least used to be.”  
  
“If your father was here,” Luke said. “He’d be disappointed in you.”  
  
The way Poe’s face changed...he looked like he was about to strangle Luke. “Figured you’d hit below the belt like that.”  
  
Zorii sighed. “He’s not worth your time, Poe. Just...let’s get going.”  
  
“No, seriously, where the hell were you when I needed you?” Poe said. “You sure as hell weren’t there when I needed you before.”  
  
Luke was quiet for a while. Then, “I’m sorry, Poe. I should have been there when you needed me. But you can’t just run away. And getting into smuggling?”  
  
Poe shrugged. “You hung out with a smuggler.”  
  
“That doesn’t mean you should emulate him. Besides,” Luke said, “A Dameron should get a better fate than this.”  
  
 _Dameron._ “You’re Kes Dameron’s son?” Ben said.   
  
Poe sighed. “So I guess it’s relevant now. Good to know.”  
  
***  
  
Ben hadn’t known how a mission to find the source of Luke’s visions had gotten them this situation, but he couldn’t help but wonder how the son of a Pathfinder and a pilot ended up in that situation. Luke hadn’t been there for him, somehow. Ben could almost imagine how lonely it was, having lofty expectations you could never reach. Stars willing he couldn’t reach those goals. Even being a Jedi...there was still a lot that he knew he needed to learn. And he hated it. Somehow, he wished it came easy to him, like it did with other people.   
  
He could feel Poe’s storm of thoughts from the other room — the spice runner, pacing; clearly, Luke’s words could get under his skin, like Luke clearly intended them to. In a way, Ben could sympathize with him; Luke could be insufferable when he got on his soapbox.   
  
Cautiously, Ben crossed over from the bedroom he had to the main hold. Out of his spice runner costume, Poe was clearer to see. He was shorter than Ben (not that that was hard) and more average in build. Maybe it was almost normal for Ben, considering how tall and muscular he was. Despite how small and slight-ish Poe seemed, Ben knew that the spice runner could try and shoot him if he wanted to.   
  
Poe paused in his pacing. “What do you want?” Then, seeming to regret the words as soon as he spoke them, he said, “Sorry. Kind of unnerved right now.”  
  
“You don’t say,” Ben said. Then, “Sorry about my uncle.”  
  
“He’s your uncle?” An almost endearing furrow came between Poe’s eyes.   
  
“It’s not as glamorous as you think,” Ben said. “I mean, he’s a good uncle, but...” He sighed. “Did he ever do that...thing with you? Where he’d give you that lecture of I-knew-you-were-better-than-this? Besides now?”  
  
Poe sighed, but there was a lighter edge to it. “Well, he yelled at me for nearly breaking my neck climbing the tree in my backyard. Hella tall tree too; nothing to scoff at. To be fair, my dad was yelling at me too...” He paused. “I hope my dad’s all right. Stang...”  
  
“Why did you run away?” Ben said.   
  
A wearier sigh from Poe. “I wasn’t happy. And my dad and I were having problems. Thought that having hyperspace routes between us was the best thing to do.”  
  
There was more. Ben could sense it. How Poe felt the pressure of having his late mother’s legacy weighing him down, worrying if he would ever be good enough. Kes Dameron hadn’t seemed to have intentionally done anything to make Poe think that way, but brains had a talent for tricking you.   
  
_And voices,_ Ben thought. _Visions._ He could still see too well the visions that seemed to live in his head, like the galaxy was screaming for help and he wasn’t powerful enough to make it better.   
  
“You’re like me,” Ben said.   
  
Poe snorted. “Doubt a Jedi like you has much to worry about. War hero parents, a cool uncle...”  
  
“I’ve felt it too,” Ben said. “All that pressure. That feeling like you’re just a copy. Like you have to be perfect.”  
  
Poe’s eyes softened. “Yeah, well,” he said, “You don’t have to be perfect. Being ‘pretty great’ is good enough.”  
  
Ben couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter as Poe said that.   
  
***  
  
Searching for the strange masked figures wasn’t what Ben would call easy. Ben couldn’t imagine going up to some random being on the streets of Kijimi and saying, “Excuse me, have you seen some weird guy in a mask?” At least Ben couldn’t picture it. They lay low, Zorii and Poe leading the way. They had an odd dynamic, the four of them, and Ben couldn’t help but feel an unpleasant empty pang as Zorii and Poe bickered (probably with flirting built in? Then again, Ben doubted he’d know flirting if it bit him), like somehow, he wanted that dynamic with Poe. Then again, he had just met Poe.   
  
Attraction. That was what it was. And fascination. Poe was beautiful, almost unfairly so. _Stupid curly hair and brown eyes and the moments he smiles..._ And he was interesting. True, he was a bit prickly (according to Zorii, more troubled than anything), but he was capable of kindness, even occasionally offering five credits to one of Kijimi’s less fortunate beings. He couldn’t be completely selfish, Ben thought, not if he had moments like this peeking out. The galaxy had dealt him a rough hand, that was all. But there was no denying that Poe simply loved people, loved them enough to try and move the stars for them.   
  
Zorii, of course, snarked about it, but she seemed to tolerate it all the same.   
  
And Ben told Poe, about his family. He didn’t know how ready he was going to be to tell Poe that he heard voices at night, and heard cackling, echoing laughter that seemed to shift voices. Poe would think he was crazy, and even an angel with broken wings knew when to avoid someone who was just wrong.   
  
“My parents think I’m some sort of freak,” Ben said one night, when Luke was thankfully snoring like a bantha. “They never outright call me it, but I can feel it. At least, my mother thinks so.”  
  
“Sorry,” Poe said. “If it’s any comfort, I don’t think you’re a freak.”  
  
Ben smiled wanly. _He wouldn’t keep thinking that if he saw the inside of my head._ “Thanks.” Then, “You’re not a monster, you know.”  
  
“Thank the stars,” Poe said wryly.   
  
Ben laughed despite himself. “Really! I mean, what kind of monster gives his food and credits to beggars?”  
  
Poe shrugged. “I’m not trying to get awards. It’s just the normal thing to do.” He sighed. “People like your mom are trying, but it’s like the Senate doesn’t care about Kijimi. Well, then again, the Senate’s mostly made of third graders insulting each other...”  
  
“No arguments there,” Ben said. “But that’s the thing. People like you are rare. I don’t think it’s fair that you’re here when...you and Zorii are good people. You deserve better.”   
  
Poe looked slightly surprised; it was like he hadn’t expected that. “Don’t think anyone’s said that to me since I ran away. Well, Zorii and I are stuck in this mess together...”  
  
“You both deserve better.”  
  
“So do you. It’s weird, Ben, but I never thought I’d meet someone like you. Someone who felt like...I can’t even say it, it’s cheesy.”  
  
“The missing piece,” Ben said. It wasn’t even picking up on Poe’s thoughts or anything; it was there, unspoken.   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
They were close now. Ben could almost count Poe’s eyelashes. He didn’t think that Poe’s eyes could be so beautiful, his lips so tempting to kiss. He had to resist...and yet, for a moment, just a moment, he wanted to give in.   
  
They kissed, and Ben couldn’t help but moan, almost viscerally. His hands tangled in Poe’s hair, carding through it, causing Poe to moan too. Even the idea that he had some degree of power over Poe...it was enough to give Ben a sort of thrill.   
  
They broke away, Ben gasping for air, feeling _alive,_ somehow. Hypersensitive to everything, wanting to drown in the angel that lived under Poe’s skin.   
  
“Kriff, Ben,” Poe murmured. “You have no idea of the...effect you have on me, sweetheart. First time I saw you, I wanted you. And then I knew you...”  
  
“I could say the same thing about you,” Ben said. “I want everyone to see the angel that you really are. What I love about you.” Even amidst his arousal, he felt a deeper burn of affection for this angel with broken wings. “Not just your scars.”  
  
Poe’s smile was almost blindingly bright. Then, “We should find a room. And...you’re gonna make me cry if you’re not careful, sweetheart.”  
  
“Sorry,” Ben said.   
  
“No problem.” Poe’s finger caressed Ben’s lower lip, and Ben swore that he shivered as Poe did so. He didn’t think that every touch from Poe would set his veins on fire.   
  
Even sucking on Poe’s fingers...it was worth it just to see how Poe’s eyes closed and those almost desperate moans escaping his lips. Poe’s thoughts were all but blazing, expressing how he wanted more. Ben couldn’t say why other beings thought sex was evil. There was nothing evil about something so perfect, right?   
  
“Ben,” Poe whispered.   
  
Ben released Poe’s fingers with a soft _pop._ “You okay?”  
  
“Yeah. Kriff, you look so good like this. You’re so beautiful.”  
  
Ben wanted to refute it, but he was too surprised that someone as damnably sexy and wonderful as Poe Dameron thought he was beautiful. He, Ben Solo. Certainly nothing special.   
  
He couldn’t help but notice how Poe’s shaft (he couldn’t use more vulgar words for it) was straining against his pants. Ben smirked in amusement. “You’re easily wound up, aren’t you?”  
  
“You could say that.”  
  
They made their way to the bedroom, and Ben felt all but hypersensitive, hyper-alert, and stars how his shaft was burning against his pants. Poe’s fingers trailing down Ben’s toned stomach and towards his shaft only made it worse.   
  
“Now who’s easily wound up?” Poe murmured, but he was smiling. He traced Ben’s shaft through his pants, and Ben whimpered and gasped at how sensitive it felt. “You feel _big_ too. Should be considered weird, someone like you hasn’t been properly kriffed.”  
  
Ben couldn’t form words. Poe touching him through his pants was a torment and a pleasure all at once.   
  
Finally, he said, “Don’t...don’t tease me. You feel good.”  
  
“I’m glad. I could touch you. Or you could kriff my mouth.”  
  
 _Stars._ “Anything,” Ben gasped, and Poe pulled away his pants. He teased, of course, nibbling and sucking on and worshipping Ben’s legs while praising how powerful they were, and Ben didn’t think that he had ever felt more desirable. He twitched, bucked, only for Poe to give his buttocks an almost possessive squeeze. Ben whimpered.   
  
“Just stay still,” Poe murmured. “Don’t rush it.”  
  
When Poe (at Ben’s begging) took him in his mouth, Ben was already trying not to thrust into Poe’s mouth. He forced himself to stay still, all but gripping the wall for purchase as Poe licked and sucked and stroked. He knew he was murmuring nonsense, about how wonderful Poe was and how grateful Ben was to him. Ben could feel Poe’s all but rambling praise in his head, and that...that just turned Ben on more.   
  
Ben could feel his thighs shaking, even as he forced them to stay apart, and he was achingly stiff. And when Poe asked if he could continue, Ben nodded. Somehow, he thought, he was going to burst. He didn’t, but the explosion of pleasure in his body felt for all intents and purposes like he’d burst.   
  
Poe drank it down. And when Ben was spent, he rode Poe’s shaft (to think Poe had brought him to climax with his mouth and he still couldn’t say anything vulgar), after much preparation and anticipation as to how it would feel (Poe was fortunately clean)...and it felt so good even as Ben moved up and down, watching Poe’s face overwhelmed with pleasure as Ben rode him, murmuring and throwing out a Yavin swear and so much praise as to how good Ben felt riding him. Even twisting his own hand between his legs in time with just riding Poe’s shaft, it seemed like every little gasp and clench and everything just set the other off, before Ben came a second time and Poe, clearly undone by Ben, followed, releasing deep inside him.   
  
Ben could say he was exhausted, overwhelmed, but also stupidly happy even as Poe stroked his hair and kissed his forehead and eyelids to bring him back to reality. “You okay?” Poe said.   
  
Ben nodded. “I love you,” he said. Somehow, he just knew.   
  
Worry entered Poe’s eyes.   
  
“Did I — ”  
  
“No.” Poe smiled as he spoke. “You’re gonna be bad for this spice runner’s reputation. But I don’t care. I love you. The way you look at me...I never thought that would happen.”  
  
“Would I see you again, after this mission is done?”  
  
Poe smiled. “If you want to.”


End file.
